Company denies that skincare product is made from "mummy"

A local company has denied that their new beauty product is made from mummies. When asked why they would go through the effort to deny something that nobody has accused them of, their spokesperson, Marinda Blaice, stated that "It just seemed obvious." She went on to state that it was "widely known" that her father, the CEO of the corporation, had recently purchased at auction a large supply of "mummy" a medicinal extract made from mummies, which had been sitting in a warehouse in Manchester since the Victorian era, when mummy extract was a legal and popular drug. "It would seem natural that "mummy", filled as it is with both aromatic herbs and resins, and the mineral salt natron, which was powerful enough to preserve the mummies intack for thousands of years, would be the ingredient which would make our skincare product so effective." Said Ms. Blaice, later adding; "Which is completely untrue."